Descriptions:
holy shit…
I guess I just directed my first ever lesbian short film. kind of an insane thing to say out loud, because years ago, the thought of me taking seriously my dream of filmmaking and taking seriously my love for women would have scared me to the point of pretending to be another person forever.
making this short film was an act of resistance and an even greater act of love.
it taught me to resist the half of society that belittles creatives’ dreams. it taught me to resist the half of society that invalidates and sneers at queer love.
endless gratitude towards my two actors Astha and Maya Robinson, because they are the literal and figurative stars of the show. they were so brave and willing and supportive of my project and basically went in blind with nothing but the most can-do attitude. yes I was directing them in a film, but they directed me in this whole endeavor on a spiritual, emotional, and communal level. this is why I will always advocate for spaces that are made for women and non-gender-conforming folks, for people of color, for gay people, etc. I would not have been able to manifest this project into reality had it not been for people who see, support, and understand my identity because they SHARE my identity.
I know this film is far from technically perfect, and halfway through editing I really wanted to give up because I was so embarrassed about its lack of perfection, but now, I think of this film only in terms of how far I’ve come and how far I will go.
also a big shout out to my token straight best friend Margaret for dragging me to an alt film festival in NYC that one weekend. watching those films planted the seed in my head for my own film. and now look at it! the fruits of my labor exist and are, dare I say, ripe.
with much much much love and gratitude and humility,
Ella